Never Said Goodbye

Can you imagine? It must be a horribly disappointing, hurtful feeling.

“I missed a few weeks, no one noticed, and I just didn’t go back.”
“After the surgery, I couldn’t even make meals for weeks. No one came to visit me or help me. They are supposed to be my ‘family’. So, I might as well go somewhere else.”
“I did that job for years. Yeah, it was a small job, but I did it every week. I had to give it up. I didn’t expect a lot, but I did think someone might say thanks, or send me a card. Maybe I don’t belong here.”

I could go on and on with the comments I have heard over the years from people who have left our church because they felt unloved, unappreciated, and alone. Sometimes, as a staff person, I was shocked; I thought they did belong. Other times, sadly, I said to myself “of course”. Yet other times, I don’t know what more we could have done. All of these break your heart. Yes, every person does not belong in our church; but every person should be able to find a home in the Church. CrossPoint cannot be all things to all people. When people leave because of theological differences (i.e. dunking vs. sprinkling) or systems expectation (multi-site vs. building larger), there is another church that they will fit in. However, when someone leaves because they are hurt by the church, we must all mourn.

Speaking as a staff person, diligence is the key. We can check attendance records, and set up a system of calling absentees. (This is not truly effective, because not everyone fills out a communication sheet). As staff, it is difficult to slow down on a Sunday and really become part of the congregation; but we need to do that Also, we cannot be sure that everyone is noticed by ourselves. The whole congregation must help. After all, we are creatures of habit. How many of us sit in the same area of a class or worship every week? Then when you notice someone not there, give them a call to just check in that all is well.

Small Group Ministry is still our best solution to getting people involved and feeling the sense of belonging. Building relationships is the best way for understanding to prevail and Jesus’ love to be spread. God talks about relationships all of the time throughout the Bible – His relationship with each of us, and our relationship with each other. Please, please help. Slow down and notice the people around you. And if you have any concrete ways to help get people involved and cared for, please let me know. I promise to pass the idea on.

To God be the Glory!                                                             Helen

Love “always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:7
We are called to show love.